If a Conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat banned for everyone and calls anyone else who's not a vegetarian a murderer.

If a Conservative is a homosexual, he quietly lives his life.
If a Liberal is a homosexual, he has to let the whole world know and he demands legislated respect.

If a Conservative is down and out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Liberal wonders who will take care of him and make it all better.

If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he changes the station.
If a Liberal doesn't like a talk show host, he slanders him on the internet and everywhere else, and demands the host to be fired.

If a Conservative does not believe in God, he doesn't go to church.
If a Liberal is a non-believer, he wants all mention of God and religion to be silenced and he tells others how stupid they are for believing.

If a conservative needs health care, he shops around for it or chooses a job that provides it.
A liberal demands the rest of us pay for his health care.

Conservatives will read this and have a good laugh.
Liberals will be offended.